Motherhood and Friends

June 2009.

That was the month the world closed its door on me.

That was the month I quit work and became a stay-at-home mom.

Or maybe, that was when I shut the door on the world.

I chose to stay at home.

I also chose to homeschool.

I chose to be a stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom.

Before that fateful month in 2009, I had some friends.

I could be described as an outgoing person!

I actually used my phone for talking to people.

Some of these friends even came over, sometimes, to visit.

But once I stayed at home, the sound of other people dimmed, and were replaced instead by the sole sounds of my own children.  And my husband.  And myself.  That was it.

The phone had no purpose except for emergency situations and texting my husband.

My nice clothes lost their luster and sucked up dust in my closet.

My car got bigger because I became a chauffer too.

And there was no one to visit and no one to talk to.

I read somewhere that ..."motherhood is the great equalizer, because once a woman becomes a mother, she becomes part of something big and can relate to anyone."  Or something like that.

I suppose I could've made an effort to go out there and talk to other mothers.  But I couldn't bring myself to.  All I saw in front of me were moms in other people's businesses.  Gossip.  And I didn't have time for that, nor did I want it.

I just knew that if I wanted to be part of the mom crowd, I must share and contribute in this gossip pool.  Some would say that these moms are just in the know and are looking out for their children.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I didn't really want to waste my time finding out.

As for my friends, well, marriage already placed a canyon between my friends and me...

...then my children stretched the canyon into a sea...

...finally, being a SAHM just kicked me out into outer space.

And I have 3 kids now.  I'm pregnant with my 4th.  I'm kinda seeing a pattern here.  Like a tree losing it's leaves as the four seasons pass by....

There just aren't people out there who can accommodate a mother and her 4 kids.  Going anywhere with us is too awkward for others to do.  I think my kids stretch them thin - from all of them wanting attention, or just from having too many kids to please.

Plus, the options of where exactly to hang out becomes severely limited once you've got more than two kids.  It seems every place (and nearly everything too) has been constructed to allow a max of 2 kids per family.

This 2 kid max applies to mom groups too.  Have you ever seen a group of running moms, all pushing strollers that are either single or doubles?  Yep, no other kids tagging along in that group.  That's just impossible for me to do.

What am I saying here?

Motherhood can be a lonely thing.  Especially when you decide not to be a "working" mom.  (Although we all know that SAHM technically work too, right?)

And that is I love blogging. It's a way for me to connect with others - minus the gossip part.  Mom bloggers get right to the heart of things.  There's sharing and support without the sugar coating and fluff.  Just heart.

In an ideal world, I would have all my blogger friends as my neighbors, we'd all have weekly potluck from our pinterest inspired dishes, have play dates everyday, drink coffee together, read the same books, go running together every morning, have fundraisers for charitable purposes, and attend each other's birthday parties. And then we'd all blog about it!

In an ideal world...

Anyway,  thank you, my blogger friend.  For being my friend.